The Chapter x

Now

Pulled my house gate and closed while entering in, and I knew, that, it finally ended my day.

Right now

Grabbed a chair, sitting outside in open air. It's raining, a little, just enough to wet my collar. Beside me, I have a cup of brown tea. My Mom specially prepared this cup for this particular evening; After explaining her - 'What happened today'.

Thank God, my laptop is fully charged. ONLY then I could sit outside to enjoy this beautiful evening.

Importantly, to glance this beautiful day.

So, what happened?

Mom's perspective:

I left home at 09:30 for work.
Came back just after 10mins.
I was little tensed(may be), surprised(for sure), in hurry.
Left my laptop bag, lunch, water at home. While she was asking, I left home in hurry, saying, 'I will be back soon.'; Which- I didn't.
She was little worried - which is very natural for any mother. I came back at (around)18:00. She learned about my day and prepared this tea, of which I am taking sip, right now, while typing this 'word'.

My day

I left home at 09:30, to office. I was on the way to bus stop. Plugged in my orange head-phones. I was listening Patience - Guns N' Roses(not for any particular reason). Suddenly song changed to Waste - Foster the people. I realized, there was an incoming call. 'Cause, that's my caller ringtone. It was an unknown number. I checked last three numbers. It was still unknown. So, I had to receive it, I did. 'Hello', I said. After brief pause, 'Hello', from that side.

Wait, 

I know that 'Hello', That's my ex-girlfriend. I stopped walking.

Me: (surprised) Hi!

She: Hiiii!! (that was her typical 'Hi')

Me: ..its been so long.. what's up...How arr..

She: (..continued) I thought I shouldn't do this but I think I should. I need this.

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She invited me to her wedding.

Me: (surprised, sigh)Uhmm, When?

She: Today.

Me: (my logical mind started cracking up) This is April month, are you trying to fool me? Nobody(she interrupted: Sorry, I told them not to) told me anything about it. I would have known SOMEHOW.

Me: Ohh. Why inviting NOW(why not before)?

She: I wasn't sure, whether to invite you or not.. I was confused.

Me: Okay, what if I say, I am busy today?(I really was)

She: It's level 8.

We had that 'level' importance for 'things'. For me, when we were in college, completing a lab journal in time was 'level 2' important; For her it was 'level 4'. We argued A LOT about that. That issue never settled. Although, marriage invitations for her were level 5. For me, they were level 6. She went level 8 this time! That got me thinking.

Me: Uhmm.. Okay, Where?

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Came back home, left all my 'things' which I usually take office.

The Marriage Hall:

Reached. I saw her name in big bold letters with some-other-guy's name. I smiled and entered the hall.

I was shocked! She was walking all over the hall, talking with strangers!! I was wondering, that's NOT how brides behave! Is she really fooling me around? But she said, its level 8. She would never lie about THAT. I took few seconds to realize, she was her younger sister. Years went by and now her sister looks exactly like her. Specially, in THAT saree. When I saw her(actually her sister), my eyes started lying me. It seemed, I was in some kind of illusion. I turned around to see where I came from.. It seemed like, I had forgot where I came from. I had forgotten that phone call, my office, that bus I catched; Everything. I was in big illusion! I walked side-by and paused all those thoughts. Thanks to Advait and Stoic philosophies. I made The self of mine to ask myself to observe what was happening to me. The self of mine laughed at my-self and "That's human nature, bro. That's what it is. Wait few seconds, I(your self) will be fine", The self said. I did that exact thing and went to talk to her sister. Although, she tried to hide it, she looked weirdly(very) surprised.

I started having typical heroism thoughts like, why am I here? Am I gonna kidnap her? Is that my destiny? Is that why she called me? I checked my cell phone to see whether she left some instructions. I could only see Eminem (wallpaper). But no messages. Even though she called for that reason, practically, marriage is already over. There is nothing I can do now. But still, we were couples. We meant to be couples. It's gonna be good or bad? Unfortunately, unknowingly, I was in illusion. The self was already laughing at my self so much.. He totally enjoyed it. He was laughing because, deep-down, I wasn't thinking about any of those things. None of 'em. Those thought-illusions were created because of that situation in itself. My stupid-self convinced my-self that, anybody in this situation would think above thoughts; And you should think the same things. And that created those thought-illusions. While, The self was observing all this and he was laughing incredibly. In reality, my thought was very different. I was thinking, this is weird, why am I here? Weird, 'cause I haven't seen her since..

..The Last-Day

Our 'breakup talk' was over, already. This was literally the last day of our college. We were staring each other while she was standing with her father. I was on my way with my friends. Ultimately, a tree between us to cut line of sight and I turned around, never to see her again.

And now I am gonna meet her? ..just like that? ..on her wedding? I thought to leave. But I stayed. 'Cause of level 8. In fact, this is first time having level 8. Level 6 happened once when she was admitted to hospital for loss of white blood cells. She wanted to meet me and THAT was level 6. I still remember I raised my bike around 70 kmph in city-center.

The Formation of The Line of sight

I was early. So, I had nothing to do but to sit quietly on one of those typical red-chairs and wait for my ex-girlfriend to show up in full bride make-up. (sigh) How fortunate I am! I wasn't done thinking about that, yet, it was time. They brought her on stage. Of course, groom was with her, too. But I ignored him. I saw her. Just her. She looked a lot different than(since) when I first met her. Her smile remained same. My mind started calling her name thinking, she would hear it and might look at me. Well, she did glance red-chairs but she didn't see me, at all. 20 minutes passed, she didn't see me. But now. She saw me. I honestly didn't know what she was thinking; She looked confused and surprised at the same time. Which-she explained me later. After brief confusion and surprise expressions, she smiled. I smiled back and raised my hand to kinda say 'Hi'. She winked! Damn, was that a signal? I checked my cell-phone again. There was nothing. My The self was having best time of his life. I questioned my The self, Seriously, am I still into her? I certainly know that I am done with her..then why am I feeling this? And here, my The self explained the situation perfectly as always and I was back to normal. And I observed something, she was staring at me. And The Line of sight was formed!

Rest of the time went -by- meeting friends, talking.

Time to Wish

Well, it was time. We went on stage to present the Presents. My friends had shiny boxes. I took few of her favorite chocolates. Ohh, I didn't mention that. Actually, I had to get off bus to buy these special home made chocolates from particular place. Those were her favorites. That's why I thought, I was gonna be late to the wedding but it happened other way around. I don't know how. May be time went relatively slower. Wait, did I just proved Theory of rel.."Shut up!" my self shouted. "That's not theory of relativity", he said. The self said, 'concentrate here, Its my turn'; I saw her closely. She introduced us to her husband. While doing that, she showed me to her husband and said, "This is him, my Ex-boyfriend".

He: Is it? Nice to meet you. She told me a lot about you;
For which- I didn't say a word.

I smiled, wished, got out of the stage as soon as I could.
I just wanted to leave. I started thinking about office.. So, what I've gotta do next in office and stuff.
She tapped my shoulder and whispered in my ears: If you are hungry, have some snacks and for lunch wait for bride and groom.

It was her sister.

WHAT?????? What! the! heck!!! Why me? Who am I, anyway? I am just gonna leave NOW.

Which- I didn't.

The Lunch Time

As she suggested, I thought to have(eat) something; But I wasn't really hungry. And I got lost in conversation with friends. Some time later, I got call from an unknown number, but I recognized those last three numbers this time. 'Yeah', I said. She, 'Come, we are waiting'.

I started thinking, Man, this's  gonna be weird; What am I gonna talk, I was still thinking, she(her sister) just appeared in front of me. Ohhhh man!! Goddamn it; Why things are happening so impetuously today. Give me a break to think a little about situations here..COME ON!!

She: Hey!!; Me: Hi; She: Come, let's go; Me: Yeah..sure. Listen, shall I ask you something?; She: What?!;

(she is leading our way)

Me: Do you think it's gonna be weird? 

She: May be. I don't know; It depends on you both, right? giggle

Me: Hmm.. yeah, I think so.

She: I asked her same thing today morning while calling you, she said, 'He will handle it'. giggle

Me: She hasn't changed a bit.

She: She has changed. She got crazier.
Me: Uh, now I am happy. giggle 

She: Oh no. You might regret it now. hahhahha..

Man! this girl is scaring me. Based on how she introduced me to her husband on stage, she must be crazy now. I have gotta be careful. The last thing I wanna do is to get beat up in the marriage hall. Not a good thing. :(

She: Don't worry, I am just joking.
But I still hate this girl! :/
Me: Anyway, why are you wearing her saree? giggle
She: What?? This is my saree. with defensive voice.
Oops! I don't wanna mess with her; All I knew was, it was blue color. I didn't say anything further.

She: Okay, here's your guest. (loudly)

Me: Hi; She and her Husband: Hi, please come, sit;

(Now, only three of us at one table)
By then, I was done explaining my-self how weird it was. I simply started to accept it. 

She: So, how are you?
Me: I am fine. How about you two?
Both: I am fine.

We started talking about my work, her work,  his work, few common things about our work. Then, I realized something, he was my client. We met 5 months ago. Obviously, I didn't bring that up. But he did. I said, 'Ohhh, yeah, you were at our office. I couldn't recognize you with all this costume'. Nice reason. He agreed.

He is a gentleman. Really good guy. His business is also growing quite good. One of the nice personality I've met in '15. I was happy for meeting him, again. We had very nice conversation. We had fun. We became very close. Until today, I thought, marriages were boring. Now that I am grown up and meeting general people instead of only relatives, this is good. This is the first marriage where I had some valuable time. I enjoyed it.

We had our lunch. I was thinking to leave. I was impressed by what he did next.

He: Alright, I am gonna meet my friends. You take her with you and meet your friends, too.
Me: What if I take her with me? giggle

She was shocked; I could clearly see, 'what the heck is he saying' expression on her face. We both enjoyed her expression and laughed at her. He said 'Sure, I have my gf waiting; hahhahha'.
Men will be Men, right?

Now, we're alone.
There were very few people in the hall that we were sitting. It was very noisy outside, and in here it was very silent, relatively.
I am finally there, which I wanted to avoid so badly: Conversation with her.
She was okay until this moment. When he left us alone, she got little emotional.

She: So, how are you? this time, she really meant it.
Me: I am fine. You?
She: I am fine, too.
To make her comfortable and not too emotional, I asked, 'You were kind of confused out there when you saw me in morning, why was that?'
She: That, I didn't expect you to come so early.
Me: Hahha.. Yeah.. I know, right?
She: Do you remember when we wer..(I interrupted: No no no, don't bring up any old stuff. Not a wise thing to do right now. Let's stick to present moment). (She paused, for a while)
She: I am sorry, I couldn't inform you before. I was so confused.
Me: It's okay. I understand. I know, it's not easy. I can't imagine how much guts it took for you to call me this morning. (pause) Wait a minute, so this is why you called me, uh? To say 'Good bye', right? That's what you meant when you said you wanted it?
She: Yeah, may be. I don't know. I thought to call you at night. But it was around 12:30am already. So, I didn't. Later I decided not to inform you. But in morning, after (actual)marriage, I started feeling guilty. I didn't even inform you and I thought, I was cheating you. I wasn't sure, you were gonna come or not but I just wanted to inform you. She got little more emotional.
Me: Hey, come on. You don't have to feel any guilt about that. We broke-up long time ago and we're done with each other. You have all rights to move on. There is no matter of cheating here at all.
She: Do you think it's so easy?; Me: Easy what?; She: Moving on;
Me: No. I don't think it's easy. But I think it's possible and good to move on.
(She remained silent) So, I changed the topic and ordered Sprite. She refused to take one.
Me: Hey, thank you. I appreciate your invitation today. I think I needed this, too. To meet and have a good conversation; At last, a nice good bye. This is nice. You are one of those special people I have met in my life. Hold on, I know what you are thinking. You were special, but now special-special (She smiled). I respect you more now.
She: Why?
Me: For inviting me. It's not easy to invite ex-bf to own wedding, okay. Plus I really had great time today. I had new experiences.
She: What experiences?!
Me: Hmm, well, when I reached here, there were so many thoughts in my head. So, I could apply my philosophy studies here. And then, this marriage changed my view towards marriages. I met so many people. I met YOU after such a long time. I met your Husband.. so on. And I didn't know about this marriage hall! This looks expensive. (while looked around)
She: Not something that you can't afford, hehehe.
Me: Yeah, only when I donate one of my kidneys. (pause)May be an eye, too.
She: And what? YOU and PHILOSOPHY? When did that happen???
Me: Just..happened.
She: Wait, you started it after our break up, didn't you? That's why you were okay with 'not' contacting me(?)
Me: Uhmm.. Not really. I have always been looking for it. When I stopped listening to your sweet voice, I found it. (She didn't understand how to respond to that, And that's exactly what I wanted)
Me: So, you thought I was gonna contact you.. You underestimated me(giggle)
She: Yes, I underestimated you.
Me: And this is what you get for underestimating me
(I took a sip, like James Bond).
(Her Husband tapped her from behind)

He said something to her, which I might not understand in million years. And he went back.

She: What do you mean, 'This is what you get'?
Me: Come on, I am just kidding. I am pretending to be cool James Bond. You see, what I have in my hand. This is Martini.. remember? She laughed hard.

We used to do some CRAZY stuff with this 'pretending' thing. And she was the one who started it.

Way back then, I was browsing her childhood photos, and I saw her fancy dress, 'Mother Teresa' picture. I told her to pretend like Mother Teresa for some time. I remember, she did GREAT acting. We totally enjoyed it. Since then, whenever we felt bored, we used to pretend like something else.

Me: Anyway, what he told you? She repeated the same exact thing that he said.
Me: Be kind enough to rephrase it in a way that I can understand.
She: We have 'some' things to catch up, So, we have to hurry.
Me: Oh, alright, then, I ll leave now. You guys carry on, it's already late.
She: Okay, I ll walk you through.
Me: No, it's okay..; She: Come on....; (We walked to exit door)
Me(I meant these words): Hmmmm. This is it, then. Happy married life. Be happy always, Bye. (I turned around)
She: Wait.. I still love you. I don't know how to forget you (Her eyes filled)

This is what I said(and I meant it), [Watch this video..]

These words literally mean what they say..

Me(turned back around): You loved me. I loved you, too.








I was in a situation, where, I couldn't imagine life without you. I know, you did, too. (pause)

But I am not gonna be with you.

I am not the person you grow old with; (pause)He is.(pause)

You aren't the person I grow old with. (pause)

I am just a chapter in your life. I am not your destiny.(pause)

And old Chapters always end to begin new ones.(pause)

I am ending now. (pause)Let me end here. (pause)

We are here to accept reality. (pause)Let's do that.

Let's pretend this never happened.(pause)(pause)

Now all I need is, One last hug from a person I missed so long. (pause)

We hugged.

I whispered, "I missed you, girl!" I held her tight. (pause)

"It might seem impossible right now, but eventually, I promise, you will accept it and you WILL be happy.
When years pass, past doesn't matter. (pause)
Happy married life. Always be happy, (pause)okay?"

She nodded.

Me: It's not only about me, you have to leave your family, too. It's all part of life, accept them. Be strong. I am sure, you will be. (pause)Now time for your beautiful smile. (pause)Please.

She smiled.

Me: There you go!! You're awesome!
She: Teaching your own girlfriend how to get over with you.. uh?
Me: Hahhaha, you are not my girlfriend anymore. Those days are over, leave them behind. This is a new chapter, it's gonna be great.  Alright, I've gotta go now. Call your Husband.
She called him.
Me: Alright, I am leaving now. And leaving this beautiful wife of yours.
I hugged him.
'Happy married life. Take care of each other'
'Bye'

I left.
I am sure, she will be fine.

The End..

I am in bus, thinking about, how it went; What all happened.
I was trying to reach my cell phone in pocket; Chocolates!!!
Damn! I laughed.
Hmm.. It's okay. I started eating those delicious chocolates one by one.
I simply enjoyed them. I don't know when I am gonna buy them again.
Between next year(?); next ten years(?); or never; I don't know.

I went back to think: What happened today-
Because, these situations come up in life to, to hold us for a while and think.
They come up to show us, we were wrong.
And knowing, that, we were wrong, is hard. We wonder, how could that be.
Our dreams, our plans, our expectations, to know everything was wrong, we get no warnings too.

At 12 am, she was thinking to call me. She thought, it's really too late to call.
So, she waited for morning; to call me, is all she got, to prove me, that I was wrong, all along.
The better way to know us, is to know we are wrong.
When I asked, will you marry me, she said 'Yes!'. That didn't happen. We were wrong.
Now on, at every occasion, I ll be ready for the proof of reality
Every occasion, once more, is called the reality.
Every occasion, oh, one reality to deal with.
To the outside, the dead feelings lay on the lawn,
for they don't have heart to hang upon.
At every occasion, I ll be ready.
The Chapter ex ends here.
Unless it's funeral,
It's Life.
Life(..continues)